Better To Be Correct

Express how you truly feel with no concerns about being "politically correct."

Domestic Violence is NEVER Okay

with 7 comments

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now the story of Chris Brown hitting Rihanna. It has been reported that she has bruises but no one knows anything beyond that. He turned himself in shortly after the 911 call, but was bailed out soon thereafter. Because of all this negative publicity, Chris Brown was dropped from his Wrigley’s commercial contract, and the radio stations have stopped playing his over-played songs (In my opinion, he deserves worse than that, and none of his work should be praised, period).

Some say that it’s not a big deal and that “we don’t know for sure what happened.” Well, I’m sorry, but that’s the biggest bullshit I’ve heard. If he were to be “innocent,” then why did he turn himself in? Also, he wouldn’t have let this negative publicity go so far as to hurt his career. I don’t care WHAT his excuse was, whether he “wasn’t in a good mood” or “Rihanna did something to piss him off,” that gives him NO RIGHT TO HIT HER. Nothing and NO ONE gives a guy a right to hit a girl, and domestic violence is something to be taken seriously.

This blog isn’t necessarily about Chris Brown or Rihanna, but about the millions of people who suffer from domestic violence and feel helpless. A study done in 2000 showed that approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States… and that was nine years ago, it’s much higher now.

In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner. In recent years, an intimate partner killed approximately 33% of female murder victims and 4% of male murder victims.

Here are some other interesting statistics I found (I couldn’t find up-to-date stats but imagine that they are much higher than what I’m presenting to you):

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, between 1998 and 2002:

* Of the almost 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members, 49% of these were crimes against spouses.
* 84% of spouse abuse victims were females, and 86% of victims of dating partner abuse at were female.
* Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of dating partner murderers
* 50% of offenders in state prison for spousal abuse had killed their victims. Wives were more likely than husbands to be killed by their spouses: wives were about half of all spouses in the population in 2002, but 81% of all persons killed by their spouse.

(Pictured above: Woman put on fire by her “significant other.” She’s one of the lucky few who have survived)

And it goes beyond domestic violence. There are millions of children who are abused daily. Millions of elderly who are abused daily. The list goes on. Whether it be a guy or a girl, it’s not right, and it is preventable. So please, if you or someone you know is a victim, call the National Domestic Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), 1-800-787-3224 (for the deaf). The website is http://www.ndvh.org/. There is help, and you should never feel alone.

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Written by Annie

February 17, 2009 at 5:02 am

7 Responses

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  1. I’ve been there. It really is nice to know that I’m not alone and that there are people out there who care to help. Thank you for the blog.

    Anonymous

    February 18, 2009 at 1:38 am

  2. I really respect the variety of topics you cover on this blog. You know when to be serious and when to have fun.

    Anonymous

    February 18, 2009 at 2:00 am

  3. These people have no hearts. I don’t understand how they function.

    Anonymous

    February 19, 2009 at 4:27 pm

  4. Thank you for the comments.

    Annie

    February 19, 2009 at 7:32 pm

  5. In a future blog, could you please clarify whether or not rape is ever okay? What about murder?

    Now my question above will probably be interpreted as sarcastic and insensitive, but I don’t mean it to be. I simply use it to make a point. I’m genuinely curious as to the purpose of this blog entry. That domestic violence is always wrong seems so obvious to me it doesn’t need to be stated as an argument with statistics and photographs. There are some groups with ridiculous and offensive views out there (NAMBLA, KKK, etc) but I’ve never heard anyone argue that physically abusing one’s partner is good or acceptable. You don’t mention anyone who does. So, I am left puzzled by this post. You begin by lauding Wrigley’s gum and radio stations for disassociating themselves with Chris Brown. Why must all of his work never be praised (“period”) though? You don’t explain. Next, you rail against those who display hesitancy in taking a strong position in the Chris Brown case, but you don’t say who these people are. If it is the media, of course they have to say “allegedly” until he either is convicted or confesses. Is this what bothers you? Or, have you actually heard someone put forth an argument that he should be let off the hook (that he had a “right” to hit her) if Rihanna made him mad? If so, I wonder why you don’t explain it, instead saying it’s not even the point of the entry.

    Don’t get me wrong: I believe domestic violence is a large problem and wholly inexcusable. I think it’s good you provided the help hotline and website. But I don’t understand what your main “thesis” is, and why you thought the stats and pictures were necessary. Toward whom is the anger in the first part of your post aimed?

    Anonymous

    February 20, 2009 at 12:24 am

  6. The purpose of this blog entry is to inform those of the seriousness of domestic violence. Not everyone if fully aware of the dangerous extent it can get to. For those who may be victims and haven’t looked into help, I’m providing them with an option of help. Just because we know that something exists and is wrong doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it. In fact, the more you talk about it and understand the consequences of it, the more people get educated, and the less it happens. And the fact that you mentioned that it’s “so obvious” that domestic violence is wrong is contradictory to the act of domestic violence; meaning, if everyone felt the way you and I do about this issue, then there wouldn’t be an issue of domestic violence. And I don’t need to mention names on any of this because that’s where it gets too personal… names are arbitrary, actions are not.

    I begin my blog with the Chris Brown incident because that’s what people had been talking about for a while now. I laud Wrigley’s gum and radio stations for disassociating themselves from Chris Brown because it shows that they do not support such atrocious acts; it is pretty self explanatory that it wouldn’t make sense for him to continue being the face of a product that kids enjoy and consume (referring to the gum). As far as the his work never being praised, I don’t have any respect for people (nor their work) who commit such crimes, and that is why I made that statement. Next, I don’t “rail against those who display hesitancy in taking a strong position against the Chris Brown case;” rather, I simply state that there are those who say “it’s not a big deal,” etc. in which case I’m saying that it IS a big deal. Believe it or not, there are people who have a strong hesitancy against it, but that’s not what I was directly referring to in my blog. I wasn’t talking about the media either because obviously the media can’t say anything until he is convicted or directly confesses. And once again, names don’t matter. I can give a random name like “Claudia said this…” and it’s not going to change anything.

    The reason why I say that the Chris Brown/Rihanna case is not the central issue of my blog is because my blog is about domestic violence in general, starting with a case that most of us had already been familiar with.

    Finally, the main reason why I put the stats and pictures is because it’s easy to say the word “domestic violence” and “hitting your significant other is wrong,” but seeing numbers and pictures makes the seriousness of the act more tangible. It’s not like one or two people are getting a slap, or every now and then a woman (or man) gets a beating; it’s more like millions of people are affected by this and sadly many of them lose their lives because they don’t do anything about it, whether it be because they don’t know there’s help out there or they feel ashamed because they think they’re alone in this. My anger in the first part of my post is aimed towards arguments I heard which triggered me to write the blog.

    Thank you for your input; I hope this clarified a few things.

    Annie

    February 20, 2009 at 4:32 am

  7. Anonymous, I agree with Annie. Just because you haven’t heard about something doesn’t mean it’s not out there, which is why Annie wrote this blog. There are obviously people out there who believe that physically abusing their partner is okay, hence domestic violence!

    Need an example? Okay, I’ll give you one. My father thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to hit a girl if she “pushes the guy to his limits,” “gets him angry,” “doesn’t know when to shut up,” etc. Does that make you feel better because now you know for sure that there’s someone out there who thinks like that? Come on! In which case, you still don’t know because I choose to remain anonymous. Just because you’re being ignorant about this topic (which is fine because it’s more difficult to understand unless you’re a victim), then don’t criticize why a person feels empowered to right something they feel strongly about. I don’t mean to offend you because it’s okay to not know things and ask questions, but the way you addressed it made it seem like this blog shouldn’t have been written the way it was, and I take that very personally. And I believe Annie answered your questions very well.

    Anonymous

    February 20, 2009 at 7:23 pm


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